I wish I'd had the strength to break up the relationship when we were 'dating'. Life is hard after college friends disappear. The adult world isn't so fun. My social life was the pits. All I had was Randy. But I knew I didn't want him. I just didn't know how to find the life I really wanted. So I settled. I fell for his lies. I needed a mentor or friend but I was shy--never quite good at keeping friends. I simply wasn't mature enough to be in a long-term relationship.
I was brought up in a fundamental Baptist church. Dancing wasn't allowed. Going to the movies wasn't allowed. Drinking wasn't allowed. Randy should have picked up that I was wrong for him. He loved to do all those things. And I guess for a time, he settled too.
This is why Baptist parents want their children to marry only someone brought up in the same church. I see the point, but I also see there are cult-like ingredients in those cultures.
Now as an adult, I've been to more dances and movies than I can count. I finally walked away from legalism and the cult, though I never walked away from my Lord. And drinking--I still don't do that apart from a sip of wine or an occasional cocktail.
My best friend of five years refused to be a bridesmaid. My other friends backed off once I wore an engagement ring. I knew inside I wasn't ready for marriage, but I knew no other choice at that time. So I started planning the wedding.
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