Why, when a husband cheats and isn't fulfilling his vows of marriage does a woman not just leave him and file for divorce?
The reasons are many, for me it was about codependency.
It can also be that a woman feels she has such strong faith in God that the marriage will be restored so she hangs on waiting for that to occur. To proceed with divorce might mean she doubts God or will be punished by God and looked down on by fellow believers.
Ultimately, the codependency is often wrapped up with inexperience that tells her she is still in love with him.
I felt all the above when Randy cheated on me, left me repeatedly, was never available when I needed him, and when he lied to me and insulted me.
I eventually realized I wasn't in love with him--not the current him--the him he became. I wasn't even in love with the old him. I didn't feel I was in love with him when I married him. I was in love with the idea of marriage--the idea of being an independent adult--the idea of what could be.
At 26, I remember feeling there might be no more single guys left in the world for me. My heart's desire was to be a mom; to have a family. And so the grief was deep thinking that would never happen.
That's inexperience. It was untrue. There were many single young men still available. I met Mark at 30. He'd never been married. We eventually married and had children.
Read my story here.
