Memoir of Christian Divorce : false guilt

Friday, September 1, 2023

The Hard Things about Separation and Divorce

The hard things after living too long in separation and eventually being branded with a divorce can be memories. I don't give them any thought now except I wrote my memoir and need the message communicated. So the memories were drummed up as needed. And as I process it all, I can't believe I was so stupid!

Many of us wish we could have a re-do on part of our life. We regret decisions our immature self made.

I regret that good Christian friends would never know the deep darkness I endured in my first marriage (which wasn't a marriage at all). I want validation and vindication. I want others to know how painful the entire messed up experience was.

I met Mark eventually, and the healing has been profound. Indeed, God provided. Mark rescued me from myself.

What this Blog's About

So here's the scoop. During the pandemic, like many, I became reflective and began to write the story of my former separation and divorce. It happened in the 80s but I was often triggered. As a Christian back then, divorce wasn't a popular choice for believers. So it wasn't easy. I was triggered to write my memoir in 2020 due to a conversation I'd had with a Christian friend who knew of my divorce in the '80s. She couldn't know the depth of pain and anguish I'd suffered all those years. Many times, people only see the outside and make judgments about it all. I married a man I shouldn't have. I regret it deeply. I was very naive. But we did have a wedding and when he left me, I figured I had to fix it. I had to get him back. I could not become divorced. In that push-and-pull time, my energy was zapped. I was full of sadness and depression. I coped at work, but felt I had to keep the separation a secret. I felt culled from inside out like a fisher might do to his catch. So compounded problems occurred. Poverty, self-doubt, self-hatred, anger, embarrassment, worry, fear, guilt, and too many traumatic instances to mention. I ran or jogged to relieve the stress. But it was always there. From March to July, 2020, I wrote my story alas. Now I need it to be read. Then I will have come full circle. https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Games-Christian-Marriage-ebook/dp/B09R1PBYKC

Memoir of Christian Divorce

Tuesday, January 30, 2024

What a Relationship is Not

Friday, September 1, 2023

The Hard Things about Separation and Divorce

A Current News Story Resonates with Me

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