The hard things after living too long in separation and eventually being branded with a divorce can be memories. I don't give them any thought now except I wrote my memoir and need the message communicated. So the memories were drummed up as needed. And as I process it all, I can't believe I was so stupid!
Many of us wish we could have a re-do on part of our life. We regret decisions our immature self made.
I regret that good Christian friends would never know the deep darkness I endured in my first marriage (which wasn't a marriage at all). I want validation and vindication. I want others to know how painful the entire messed up experience was.
I met Mark eventually, and the healing has been profound. Indeed, God provided. Mark rescued me from myself.