A Bit About My Story

Had I known what the next few years beyond my first date with Randy would hold, I would have told God I didn’t want to be put to the test.

I didn’t want to face judgment from certain circles or risk my job at a Christian organization by admitting I was separated or by becoming divorced.

I didn’t endure trauma over one event, one season, or one life phase. It crossed my career path, anniversaries, birthdays, work holidays, and Christmases. The trauma informed my every decision at that time.

An outsider could never know how many times I fell into a crumpled heap of tears, how often I fasted and prayed, or how I laid prostrate on the floor seeking God’s help, wanting to do the right thing.

It helps to remember we cannot change a dysfunctional person unless they want to be helped. At times, closing the door on a relationship is the wisest thing to do. God doesn’t intend for us to use our time and energy at our expense trying to make another person happy who can never be happy. Meeting their whims is not our calling. Fixing them is not our burden to carry.

Tough love is being able to say no more games. Tough love says, I may have cared about you, but the relationship is no longer serving me. I care about my life too much to allow you to hurt me any longer.