The Single Bride

In a Christian Facebook group, one poster wrote that it was her wedding anniversary, but she and her husband were separated. 

It's crazy to think I spent a number of wedding anniversaries, birthdays, Christmases on my own too as I stayed separated for so long.  My heart wanted to reach out to this younger generation woman, but I wouldn't know what to say. 

If I could have, I might have suggested she read my story written in my memoir No More Games, When Christian Faith and Marriage Collide: a Memoir. 

But the forum would not allow for me to share that. 

When I think back, so many details of my separated years are vivid and in color. But many others have faded. I don't know how my on-again-off-again spouse dealt with our anniversaries. I don't recall what I did either. 

I went through ups and downs trying to stay married, waiting until he finished his school course. He went back to college three years after we married. It would be a longterm commitment. So I hung on. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't hung on. It was a time filled with many tears, lonely troublesome nights, and far too much danger. 

I might tell this Facebook member "You can hold on to the idea of marriage if you want, but it won't serve your wellbeing in the present. Grieve what is gone. Prepare to move forward."